But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. (Lk 2:19 ESV-CE)
Dear Jack,
Tis’ my favorite liturgical season: Advent! We had a lot of fun this past weekend post-Thanksgiving preparing for the upcoming season—but man, you had a particularly challenging day yesterday (‘challenging’ is parent code for you were a nightmare). And it has me rethinking exactly what we’ve been teaching you—or not teaching you—about Advent and Christmas.
It all started yesterday morning as we made our way home from Mass. We had grabbed a few stars from the ‘Star Tree’ to support families in need this Christmas season. After explaining to you how all of this works, you politely informed us that you wanted *all* the gifts this Christmas. Things got worse at home after you were less than impressed with the new nativity book we bought you. This time, however, you weren’t as polite and promptly melted down after demanding we get you a new book. Things didn’t go well for you from there…
Anyways, you’re three years old. So while you definitely experienced the totally appropriate consequences of your actions (alright, so they may have been a *bit* over the top—not my best parenting moment), I do realize that you’re just figuring out what this whole Christmas (and life) thing is about. And as tough of a pill it was for me to swallow last night, I did come to the realization that as your parents we are culpable for most shortcomings in your understanding of what this season means. It’s become very clear that just because we don’t teach you something doesn’t mean that you’re not learning anything. And everyone from family to friends and neighbors to the wider culture is currently teaching you something about Christmas. It’s time for us to catch up.
Alright, here are twelve things that I want you to know about Advent and Christmas:
Advent is a time of preparation. Jesus’ return is good, but it is also serious business. Jesus issued a clear warning in the Gospel reading yesterday:
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth. But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man”
(Lk 21:34–36).
There’s work to be done! Much of it can’t be done on our own, but we can participate in that preparation through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.
One of the best ways to prepare yourself during Advent is receive the sacrament of reconciliation. You’re not quite old enough for this yet. But when you are, I think you’ll come to find that confession is a powerful way to shine light in darkness.
Advent is a season of patience and waiting, so make space for silence and solitude each day. This might seem at odds with what I was just saying, but it isn’t. Maybe it’s more appropriate to say that a lot of our preparation is becoming sensitive to the Spirit working around us. When we busy ourselves—even with ‘spiritual’ tasks—we run the risk of missing what truly requires our attention in a given moment (see Lk 10:38-42). Fasting, almsgiving, reconciliation, etc. are all good things, but can be empty gestures if not done with the right disposition. Silence and solitude help create space for the Spirit to guide your life. I highly recommend finding time for such things early in the morning.
The best way to get to Jesus this season is through our mother Mary. What better model of preparation and waiting than Mary, who responded to God in perfect faith? If you still don’t believe me, find time each day to meditate on the nativity story in the beginning of Matthew and Luke each day during Advent or say the rosary daily. Drawing close to her will draw you close to Jesus. She has been a great source of comfort and encouragement to me, and I hope she is for you as well.
Those things (or people) that bother you, that you just can’t seem to change, are likely those things God is using to make you more patient and charitable. I mostly include this as a reminder for myself.
Christmas was not based on a pagan holiday (although one might argue that it has become a pagan holiday, but that’s for another letter). Such beliefs are the result of poor scholarship in the 19th and early 20th century that unfortunately continues to find life on bad internet blogs. This point deserves its own letter.
Santa Claus is real. We’ve gone back and forth as parents in how we’ve wanted to handle this. Fortunately for us, even when we told you that Santa Claus wasn’t real, you just seemed to ignore us. We should, however, call him St. Nicholas to not confuse him with the commercialized Santa Claus (who does not exist). St. Nicholas’ story is far more interesting than what you see in most Santa Claus movies anyways. Learn about it!
Speaking of St. Nicholas, there are some fantastic feast days during this season! One of the first, appropriately, is the feast day of St. Nicholas. Then there’s the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. And the day after Christmas is the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. There are quite a few others that deserve mentioning, but you can look them up. Like Mary, these saints can inspire us, encourage us, and help draw us closer to Jesus.
Christmas is both a holy day and a season that lasts for twelve days. While the first day that commemorates Jesus’ birth is very special, the other eleven days observe crucial events that give Christmas added depth and meaning. Celebrate and reflect upon the whole season!
There’s not a better season to evangelize than Christmas! Sure, many (most?) people are not celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. But what a great opportunity to remind people that gifts and material things that we often celebrate, or think will satisfy us, won’t—no matter how big or expensive. As C.S. Lewis once wrote, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
The first Advent and Christmas seasons were full of anticipation and joyful moments, but also confusion and tragedy (see the Feast of the Holy Innocents). Even in times of sadness and confusion, I hope these seasons remind you of God’s providence and His love for us. It is unlikely that Mary and Joseph fully understood what was happening, but they remained open to the Spirit. If you find yourself overwhelmed in this season, Mary and Joseph are two saints you can go to.
The true gift of Christmas is that Jesus became man. How absurd! How magnificent! That is truly crazy, right? That God would become man and dwell among us! I pray that the wonder of the incarnation is something that you fall deeper and deeper into.
This letter is as much for me as it is for you. Your sense of wonder and excitement around all the mundane aspects of life have been a great source of encouragement to me. Daily Mass with you has been one of the joys of my adult life, and I’m excited to share this Advent and Christmas season with you.
We love you very much.
Love,
Dad
Luke 2:19